Whispers of Spring....Chapter 9

 Chapter 9

“ADI!! Hush. You must not say or think something like that.”

“But mumma….” Adi’s face fell.

“Oh Adi. Don’t look so sad. I didn’t mean to upset you. I understand your feelings, sweetheart. It’s just that solutions are not always that simple. I just wanted to say that if you wish Tanu to be your baby sister, nothing should stop you. You don’t have to depend on anyone or any situation for you to feel and express that kind of love for Tanu.”

“I am not sure what you mean mumma?”

“It’s simple Adi. If you feel in your heart that Tanu is your sister, then she is. For that you don’t need a mumma or a papa or a beeji. It’s a relation between you and her, and the love that you share that matters. Mumma will always be there for Tanu, just as Raj uncle will always be there for you. We don’t have to marry for you two to have a connection. We can be friends and you can be the big brother for Tanu.”

“Really?”

“Sure. Doesn’t beeji always say that she and Ranima are like sisters, but then their parents never married…right?”

Adi nodded.

Naina pressed her point forward, “Also beeji is like my mother, but that does not mean my father married her. We have relationship with a person because we feel for that person….Nothing else should matter. Hmm! Do you understand now? ”

“Yes. I guess so.” He furrowed his brows and pondered for a few seconds and then grinned, “Mumma, Tanu already calls me bhaiya and she is special to me, and she likes me more than Bobby. So we are OK…we don’t have to think like grownups, right?”

“Nope. You don’t. Haven’t I told you before that we adults are comp….” She raised her brows as Adi completed.

“…licated human beings. Yes, that you have told me plenty of times.” He smiled and then yawned widely, “Tomorrow I’ll tell Tanu that she is and will forever be my one and only precious baby sister, like Milli maasi was to you.” He reached up and kissed his mother. “You are the best. I love you mumma. Goodnight!”

“Goodnight, my prince!” She kissed him and tucked him into her arms, before reaching out to switch off the bedside lamp. She stared at the inky night. Even the steady fall and rise of her son’s breathing could not ease the rush of the memories that escaped the entombed layers under which she had condemned them. They surrounded her, consumed her, paralyzed her with fear...fear for Adi. Apparently the adage “time heals all wounds” did not apply to her, otherwise why would a vague reference to a long-forgotten name conjure vivid scenarios from the past that constantly replayed in her mind to torture her soul. Was she reading too much into the situation? Was she overreacting? Whatever it is, she couldn’t afford to be caught unawares. The passing years had made her complacent, happy, and content…But now she had to face her fears and feed from them…expect the worst and make herself strong, freeze her rippling emotions, and plan with a steely heart and clear mind. She couldn’t let her troubles cloud all those people who cared for her. Already Raj suspected, his scrutinizing gaze penetrating her defences…She sighed. He was so astute, and he read her like no one. She knew her responses to his concerned queries came out all incriminating and overly defensive. If he knew, he wouldn’t sit on the information…he will act. That much she was sure…How? She had no answer to that. She just knew that he will leave no stones unturned to protect her and Adi. And that’s what she didn’t want. No one is going to be hurt because of her…not anymore. She tightened her hold on Adi…One couldn’t change the past, howsomuchever you rattle the gates of your life. But one could make the future secure for people who genuinely cared.

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The harsh ring of the hotel phone woke him up. He snapped out of the haze of a deep sleep, groggy and foggy headed, and reached across the sleeping girl to pick up the receiver. “Who is it?”

“Good morning Sir! This is the reception. There’s an urgent call for you from Delhi. Hold on. I’ll put you through.”

Delhi? Damn!!

“Malik?” The voice was angry.

“Yes Sir.” He jumped over the girl and got down, standing near the bed, wondering what was the urgent call all about.

“Why the hell is your mobile switched off?”

He looked at his phone and then at the girl, suddenly recalling her switching it off before joining him on the bed. He cursed his folly.

“Err…Sir. I misplaced my charger. I am going to go out and buy another one as soon as the shops open.”

“No need. Pack up and catch the earliest bus to Delhi.”

“But Sir, I haven’t yet interviewed the Colonel. I heard his grandmother is going to be in town today, so I’ll…”

“Malik, you heard me. I need you here by evening. I am reassigning you to the Assam job. The reporter I had in mind has fallen ill. I want you to take up that feature.”

“But Sir, what about this story?”

“I am sending Ankita to take it up. Now jump to it.”

He heard the click and stared at the phone. What rotten luck? He was pretty sure about that woman with the Colonel and wanted to pursue the matter, maybe earn some extra bucks with the info. But he couldn’t cross his boss. His job was on the line. Yet, he could do one thing. He picked up his phone.

At exactly 8:05 AM, Raj received the confirmation about the reporter Malik catching the 8 AM bus to Delhi.

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“Naina, why are you standing back there? Come here and give me a hug.” Ranima spread her arms.

Naina smiled and stepped forward. She enjoyed watching beeji and Ranima together. Everytime they had a reunion, it was as if they were meeting after years, instead of few weeks. They hugged…they cried…they giggled like schoolgirls. This time they even shared a split-second conspirational look as they looked first at Raj and then at her. It was so short that she wondered whether she had imagined it. She bent and touched Ranima’s feet and was immediately pulled into a tight embrace. Then she was held by her by the arms as Ranima stared at her, “Let me look at your beautiful face. (Sigh) Those phirangi women are no match to this classic beauty. You are exquisite…Isn’t she Raj?”

“She sure is. Dazzling…if you ask me nanisa!” He nodded solemnly, not taking his eyes off Naina, his lips twitching at her obvious discomfort.

Naina rolled her eyes, and turning to the grinning old lady in front of her and spoke through her blush, “He seems to obey you implicitly, Ranima, even though he may not mean it.”

“Oh, but he does Naina,” Ranima turned with a chuckle and crooked her arm in hers, and started walking toward the sofa. “Raj does not lie.”

“Maybe. Did he tell you that there are other stars in town that dazzle our soldier here?”

“Really?”

“Yes Ranima. I have met one of them. Magnetic charisma. Overpowering pull.” She looked innocently at Raj, “Irresistible…right Raj?”

He narrowed his eyes, as beeji and Ranima looked at them with a perplexed expression. Before they could ask anything or he could say anything, they were distracted by the kids who ran to them awashed with excitement. They made everyone sit down, and then Adi held Tanu’s hand and pulled her to stand in the center of the carpet. Tanu looked at Adi, waiting for the next instruction. He stood next to her. As everyone waited, he straightened his shirt, ran his fingers through the ever-tousled hair, and smiled at everyone, “Badima, beeji, Raj uncle, and mumma…I have something to say to you all. I have already taken mumma’s permission, so it is OK.”

Naina’s eyes widened; she sneaked a glance at everyone and then at Adi…who paused and beamed a smile at all. She stared at her son. She knew what he was up to, but she hadn’t realized that he was going to make a ceremony out of it.

Adi bent and took Tanu’s hand who looked up at him with eyes filled with adoration and awe. He continued, “I have decided to make Tanu my baby sister, and Tanu has agreed.” He looked proudly at everyone after his announcement.

Ranima had an indulgent look on her face. Raj smiled back and nodded his approval. Naina’s smile was gentle.

Beeji smiled and spoke, “That’s a great idea Adi. But don’t you think…”

Adi tilted his head toward beeji and responded in his most grown-up voice, “I know what you are going to say beeji. I too had the same doubt, but mumma clarified it for me. If I make Tanu my sister, Raj uncle and mumma do not have to marry. They can be friends. Right mumma?” And when Naina nodded dumbly, he pronounced gravely, “But if they marry…Tanu and I will be very happy.”

Naina coughed in a state of fluster. Ranima and beeji smothered their smiles and looked at each other. Raj chuckled openly…inviting a glare from Naina after she had recovered somewhat.

In the meantime, Adi had no clue about the bomb he had dropped and was busy extricating something from his jeans pocket. It was a red-and-gold thick cord. He put it in Tanu’s hand and extended his hand. With the other hand he pointed to his wrist, “Tanu, this is a rakhi. You will have to tie it here. Remember how I taught you to tie the shoe laces?” Tanu nodded vigorously, as Adi finished, “Tie it here exactly in the same way. After this, every year you will have to tie me a rakhi, and I’ll give you a gift. OK?”

They watched patiently as Tanu struggled to make a knot with profound concentration, the tip of her tongue between her lips. Everyone clapped after she had succeeded. Adi gifted Tanu with a pair of hair clips that had a little rabbit on each. He had dragged beeji in the afternoon to the nearby shops for the all-important purchase. Tanu threw her arms around him in a tight hug. He grinned and rubbed her back and then pulled her along to play with Furry.

Naina tried to elude Raj for the next couple of hours. Her mortification at Adi’s candid proclamation had not lessened. Avoiding Raj wasn’t that difficult as she was engrossed in listening to Ranima’s tales about her trip for the better part of the evening. She had peeked at him once when he was busy chatting with Adi and Tanu. He had sensed her stare and had looked her way. She had quickly looked away. It was an obvious dodge, making her cringe with embarrassment.

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After an early dinner, everyone moved to the family room to watch a Disney movie. As Raj was fixing up the system, Ranima leaned in to Naina, “I have a surprise for you in the library.”

“Really? A gift?” Naina smiled gleefully.

“In a manner of speaking…closer to what you wished for. Something you mentioned before I left for Paris.” Ranima beamed affectionately.

“Ranima, you got them for me? You really did? Oho…I love you.” She bent and kissed the elegant old lady on the cheek and rushed out.

She ran to the Mahal annex and opened the huge oak doors to the library. This was her favorite place in the Mahal. It had shelves after shelves of the most comprehensive collection of books. Ranaji had been an avid reader. Though Ranima loved reading, she was more into collecting. She would get boxes of books for her husband after a trip, a practice she continued in his fond memory even after he was gone. The library was opened to the local students twice a week, wherein they were allowed any book they wished to take.

There on the center table lay a box wrapped up in a golden cloth and tied up with satin ribbons. Naina felt like a little girl granted a wish by the fairy godmother. She unwrapped the gift with shaking fingers and dipping her hand brought out her treasure: five books on castles, fortresses, and palaces of Europe; ten souvenir porcelain plates with artistic renditions of the famous castles; and a complete set of fridge magnets depicting all the castles of Europe.

Naina got everything spread on the carpet and sat fingering her treasure, her eyes brimming at having her childhood wish fulfilled.

“You look like a lost princess waiting for your knight to take you to the right castle.”

“My father would have said something like that.” Naina ran the heels of her palm against her eyes and then realized she was not alone. She spun around on her knees and found Raj leaning against the door, hands thrust in pockets, a smoldering look in his dark eyes.

He straightened and stepped in. “So Naina believes in fairy tales…Now who would have thought that?” He smiled then.

“Why ever not?” She asked defensively.

“Because you only show your practical self…The real Naina is hidden under self-created layers.” He shrugged. She stared. He stared back. A mere few seconds of stand-off as they studied each other.

She sighed and sat back. “There’s nothing to hide Raj. When I was a little girl, my father would tell me stories about castles and princes and palaces. Each night he would show me a picture of a castle and concoct a story. He was a wonderful storyteller.” She paused, reminiscing, and didn’t notice Raj lowering himself on a footstool beside her. She drew up her knees and crossed her arms across, resting her chin on them, “When my baby sister Milli was old enough, I would narrate the same stories to her. She would ask me, ‘Didi, will you take me to these castles when I grow up?’ And I would promise her each time that I would…that both of us will visit all the castles and look for our princes.” She looked at Raj and found him listening with genuine interest. There was no mockery in his look. She held his gaze, “Before Ranima left, we were having a chat about this, and I told her how I would have loved to see those castles in my lifetime…for Milli’s sake. And since I cannot afford to visit them in person, I’d like to own a picture of each of them. But I didn’t have any books or enough pictures to stare at. Of course, there’s always the Net, but I am a book person. This library also didn’t have any good books on Castles of Europe. Ranima remembered and see she got for me an eyeful. So thoughtful of her.”

There was a brief period of silence.

“Naina, where is your family?” Raj looked at her apprehensively.

She stiffened, and then getting up walked to the table, repacking the box, “I lost them many years back.”

“How?”

She turned to him then, “Why do you want to know?”

“We are friends, Naina. I just want to know more about you.”

“The same goes for you Raj. I don’t know anything about you.”

Raj came and stood in front of her and halted her fumbling hands with his own. With the other he lifted her chin, “What do you want to know Naina?”

She stared at him, trying to gauge his feelings. She didn’t want to hurt him with her probing. He smiled, “Go ahead. I am not going to bite.”

She said the first thing that came to her mind, “Why do you hate women?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. Then taking her hand he walked her to the reading corner. He pressed her shoulders and made her sit down on the sofa he knew she used while reading. He then sat opposite and locked gazes with her, “I don’t hate women Naina. I only have to look at nanisa, beeji, and you to believe the goodness that exists. It’s just that I have seen the other side of the coin as well….and sometimes the negativity stemming out of that tramples on faith and trust.”

Naina didn’t blink, “Your accident?”

He nodded, “Mostly…but they became more profound when one considers the childhood I had.”

“Bad?” She couldn’t imagine how bad life could be for the eldest son of a princely state.

“Not bad…but lonely and desolate.”

She waited for him to continue. None of them noted beeji open the door, and closing it back after a brief contemplation.

Raj kept his elbows on his knees and bent forward, “Naina I lost my mother when I was five. My father remarried within a year. From my stepmother I have a brother and a sister. Being the oldest I was made aware of the family importance and responsibilities from an early age. I was given the required training and education and dealt with strictly…almost unemotionally. I had everything except what I had once received from my mother…time and pure love. My father is aloof and keeps to himself. My stepmother ignored me altogether. She manipulated everyone in the palace in such a way that people forgot my mother in no time. I had no one in that palace I could call my own. I used to wait the whole year for the two months I could get to spend here in Palampur. Nanisa had understood the situation long back. She refused to give me up. She had come to Devisar and had had a talk with my father…Whatever she said to him worked; my father could never deny my time here. Right from the beginning my stepmother wanted me out of the way for obvious reasons…the property and the status of heir for her son. She would abuse me in private and play the good mother in front of my father. She plotted cleverly and convinced my father that as the oldest son I needed to have a tenure in army. I appeared for the NDA entrance exams and got selected. So from age 17 I have been out. Army turned out to be a blessing in disguise. For the first time I was respected, accepted, and looked up to for who I was as a person. It didn’t matter what my family was. For holidays I preferred to come here….till I was manipulated into marriage.”

“Manipulated?” Naina had felt a chilling sadness creep through her when she heard the life he had led.

“Yes. I had refused all the proposals my father sent over the years. And then one day I got a message that he was very ill. I took leave and rushed home. He had had a heart attack. He said he wished to see me settle down before something happened to him. He had fixed my match with my stepmother’s niece who was much younger than me, barely out of her teens. I couldn’t say no and agreed. Much later I came to know from my wife that she never wanted to marry me but was pressurized into the marriage so that my stepmother’s family had control over my share of the property as well. Nevertheless, I tried to keep her happy, but it was evident that we were totally ill matched. We just coexisted. Also, my long months away in the field area didn’t help matters. By the time the blast happened, only Tanu’s presence was keeping us going.”

He paused and looked at Naina with agony. She held out her hand and he took it, taking strength from her softness, “Everything ended the day she came to see me in the hospital. At that point of time, I was paralyzed waist below and had lost the leg. She saw me and then told me bluntly that she couldn’t stay with a cripple…that my appearance filled her with revulsion…that she will not let her life be wasted on me. Two days later her brother came and told me that she wanted a divorce. I agreed with the condition that Tanu will stay with me. For the first time, my father held my hand and prevailed over my in-laws. The Court granted me the custody. The fact that Tanu’s mother never contested it made it easy.”

“Where is she now?” Naina just couldn’t get over the fact that any woman could give up her child so easily. Raj was feeling light hearted after a long, long time. He had never spoken about all this to anyone. But with Naina it seemed simple; there was no awkwardness, and emotions flowed easily.

“She remarried last year, and has migrated to USA.”

He looked at her. She wanted to ask one more thing but didn’t know how to.

“You must be thinking why I didn’t stay in Devisar after I took premature retirement from army.”

“The thought crossed my mind.”

“It’s because of Tanu….I wanted her to have a wholesome life, which she would not have had in an environment that was controlled by my stepmother. She had convinced my father that Tanu needed a mother and was trying to get me remarried to another one of her relatives. During one of our phone conversations, nanisa realized what was happening. She flew down to Devisar before she left for Europe and requested me to come and take charge of my legacy bequeathed to me by my mother’s side. I didn’t really have to think twice. I gave away my share in the Devisar property to a well-known state NGO.” He looked at her and smiled, “I am glad I took the decision. I have no regrets. It's a new beginning for Tanu and I.” He almost added, “The first day of my life was the day I met you....the day my heart started beating again.” But he knew it was too early for him to express his feelings.

Naina smiled back through teary eyes and nodded, “Yes. It feels right to have you and Tanu in Rawin Mahal. You belong here.”

Raj reached across and caught the first tear before it could trickle down.

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To be continued……….

Whispers of Spring....Chapter 8

Chapter 8

“Are you OK, Naina?”

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” Naina smiled and averted her eyes, the smile not reaching her eyes. And then she bent toward Tanu and held out her hand, “Hey sweetie! Ready to go for a movie?” Tanu grinned and nodded, “Will Adi bhaiya also come?” Both of them walked out chatting. Raj frowned as he stared at Naina’s back and then turned toward Nancy who was coming out of the room, “May I have a word with you Miss Peters?”

“Yes Sir.”

“Will you take the reporter’s number and pass onto me when he calls next? Actually, I don’t want any media person venturing inside the estate without my grandmother’s or my consent.”

“Of course, Sir!”

“And do me a favor; please don’t let Mrs Bhatia know. She already has enough on her platter. I don’t want her or anyone being pestered by a nosey journo who only wants a story about my family.”

“You can count on me, Sir. I had no idea that reporters were pursuing you. Aha! Now I get it…He wants to speak to Ma’am because of Tanusri.”

“Right Miss Peters. Thank you. Good evening!”

Raj came out to find Tanu sitting on the front seat of the jeep, with Naina leaning against it…both of them having a serious conversation. He felt moisture prickle his eyes as he witnessed his daughter moving her hands and speaking animatedly, looking very excited. A couple of months ago he would never have thought he would ever see her this way…so happy, so chirpy, so talkative, so normal. He finally felt his legs move when he saw them do a high-five and giggle.

“What’s all the excitement about?”

They both looked at him and then at each other. Naina winked. Tanu giggled. Naina cleared her throat. Tanu tried to copy and ended up squeaking.

Raj crossed his arms, “Well!!!”

Naina said, “Girl secrets, Raj.”

“Yes, girl secrets, papa. Boys not allowed. Not even Adi bhaiya.”

Raj rolled his eyes and went to pick up Tanu, “C’mon Little Girl, we have a movie to go to after we have gone home, changed, and eaten something.” He looked back at Naina, “And you (pause) Big Girl, we’ll meet up in front of the hall in an hour. OK?”

“Touche!” Naina smirked as she sat in the jeep and waved to Tanu.

“Hardly…just outganged.” He laughed full-throttle…a deep rumbling sound that resonated in the air. Naina stilled and stared at him as she felt an ache of warm pleasure ripple through her on seeing his beautiful face lit with laughter. A strange, unexpected completeness consumed her being. The very next moment her eyes clouded as the fears that she rode on her shoulders all the time slipped inside and tightened her chest in warning: She had cut a piece of universe for herself, built her own walls brick by brick, and was secure in it. She would never be able to step out of it. She passed him a tight smile and drove away.

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Naina went home and freshened up. She changed into a T shirt and jeans and bunched up her hair in a messy bun. She put on eye liner and a light lip gloss and looked at the clock. There was still some time left. She took out her phone and dialed Baldev Kalra’s number.

“Hello, Naina Ma’am. Good evening.”

“Good evening Baldevji. I called you regarding a very urgent matter. I need your help.”

“For you, anything Ma’am. You just have to name it.”

“Thank you Baldevji. I’ll come and meet you soon, probably on Sunday. Keep the Asha Deep files of 2007 with you. This is personal and very important. I cannot say what the matter is on phone, but please keep this to yourself. I’ll let you know when we meet.”

“Of course Ma’am! No one will know. You have my word.”

Naina pocketed the phone and stared at the only photograph she had of her parents and baby sister kept on the study table. It was a picture of her holding four-year-old Mili, cheek to cheek, and laughing, their parents standing behind them looking into each other’s eyes and grinning. Her father’s friend had clicked the picture on the terrace of their home exactly a month before she lost them, and subsequently the course of her entire life changed. She was only eighteen. Naina brushed her fingers on the frame, her eyes glistening before she turned and walked away. Memories only weaken you. And she couldn’t be weak now. Adi had to be made safe before they found her.

Naina stopped the jeep in front of the gate of the multiplex. She saw Raj standing with Tanu near the doors of the hall. She turned back to Adi and Bobby, “Adi, you two go and stand with Raj uncle. I’ll park the jeep and come.” The parking was in the basement. By the time she took the lift up, the crowd of parents and kids had swelled. She took a couple of steps and stopped. Adi was holding Tanu’s hand and telling her something. As always she had a wondrous look on her face when she listened to Adi. Bobby tried to intervene but Adi shushed him. Apparently, he held the monopoly where educating Tanu was concerned. Within a few days, Adi had become very protective and possessive about Tanu. She could sometimes see her father in him. She only had to close her eyes and hear him tell her mother, “Geeta, the pleasure of treating my girls with ice-cream is only mine. I don’t want Dheeraj doing that again. Got it?” It didn’t matter that Dheeraj uncle was his best friend.

Naina smiled as she looked at the kids now. The smile froze as she saw Raj talking to a woman. She was gorgeous…tall, slim, flawless features with milky fair complexion, beautifully made-up face, and a Jennifer Aniston haircut. She was wearing a lemon-colored chiffon saree with sleeveless, low-cut blouse…all her curves and assets clearly visible through the sheerness of the fabric. A hand was on Raj’s arm as she leaned in to say something. Raj smiled and nodded. The woman reached up to flick back the lock of hair that always played hooky on his forehead. Naina’s hands balled by her sides as her feet moved forward.

As if he sensed her, Raj turned and looked at her smiling, which quickly turned into a frown at seeing her expression. “Hello Naina! Is everything OK?”

“Yes…everything is just perfect.” She stared at the stunning man-eater with narrowed eyes. Man-eater? Now where did that come from? Naina blinked and smiled sweetly, very conscious of her casual look, “Won’t you introduce us, Colonel?”

“Oh yes! Naina this is Vimi, a friend. Vimi, this is Naina.”

“Hi Naina! Nice to meet you.” She looked at Raj and smiled seductively, “C’mon Raj. I am not just a friend.” She looked at Naina, “Actually Raj was my first boy friend. He was the first boy who kissed me. He was here on his annual vacation and we attended a summer camp together. Remember Raj?” She batted her false eyelashes at him.

“We were kids then, so….” Raj was clearly uncomfortable.

“Hello Mrs Vimi! It’s a pleasure. Is your husband also here?” Naina tried her damndest to sound polite, but her tone came out all wrong…almost catty.

“I am divorced. I have come back to my home town…,” she stared at Raj, “….permanently.”

Raj could have sworn he heard a “Harrumph!” sound from Naina. He looked at her, but her eyes were focused on Vimi…her expressions betraying nothing. He tried to ease the undercurrents, “Naina is the principal of the school where Tanu goes.”

“Really?” The femme fatale crooned, “How wonderful? I have high regards for academics. Raj, it was sweet of you to have invited Tanu’s principal for a movie. It’s always nice to be in the good books of your child’s teachers. Right?”

Raj looked at Naina’s widened eyes and bit his cheek to hold back the smile. She looked like an angry teenager in her attire…rather cute. “Actually Vimi, it’s Naina who invited us.”

“Oh dear! My bad. Oho! I get it. You must be in need for grants. Raj’s family is so generous.”

What the…? Was she real?

Naina had had enough, “Excuse me Miss Vimi! Do you always jump into conclusions? If I needed grants for the school, I’d have called on your friend…sorry, ex-boy friend…in his office and not beg in front of a movie hall. Now if you will excuse me, I’ll take the kids inside. It was nice meeting you.” She looked at Raj, “You can join us after you have caught up with your…err…friend.”

“Sure…see you in a few.” As she passed him, he leant sideways and whispered, “Touche!”

She glared at him and joined the kids. Tanu leapt in her arms, telling her excitedly about the characters of the movie about whom she had just learnt from Adi. She was ushering the kids toward their seats when she felt Raj behind her. She looked back to see him holding two large tubs of popcorn and grinning at her, “What was that Naina?”

“What?” Naina tried to be nonchalant as she grabbed the tubs from his hands and adjusted them between the kids. She then passed on their Cokes.

“Well…it’s a long shot, but…by any chance, were you jealous?”

She straightened up and looked at him incredulously, “Oh…my…God!! With all that inflated ego filling up this hall, I wonder how the rest of us managed a few teensy-weensy seats to sit on.”

Raj chuckled as he settled down, “May I have a bit of that popcorn?”

“I have to give that a serious thinking now.”

“What for? It’s just popcorn.”

“What if you accuse me of being jealous of the little pops because they were making you drool.” Naina hit back, feeling a little giddy with a sense of being off-kilter. She knew she was treading on dangerous grounds…but somehow it was leaving her feeling exhilarated…and not scared. What the hell was happening?

Raj threw back his head and laughed aloud…as many heads turned toward them, “I guess I deserved that.”

“What’s the joke Raj uncle?” Adi pushed Naina and came over.

“Nothing son. I was just teasing your mother, and she got angry.”

“Mumma hardly ever gets angry.” Adi looked toward his mother with a frown. He tugged at her shirt and, when she looked down, tiptoed up and kissed her, before sitting down next to Raj. Naina ruffled his hair and passed on to her seat. Tanu immediately came and flopped down next to Adi. Bobby sat next, with Naina completing the row. She started chatting with Bobby, stopping when the commercials came on. She stole a glance at Raj and found him looking at her with a penetrating look. As their gazes locked, she felt something shift in his expressions, making her catch her breath. He smiled then and lifted his Coke in a gesture of truce. There was so much tenderness in that single smile that Naina was sure something happened there between them…but wasn’t sure what.

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That night Adi came to her room with his pillow. She was sitting on bed, working on her laptop. She looked up to see him hovering near the door.

“Mumma, may I sleep with you tonight?”

“Of course sweetheart!” She patted the bed, “Hop in. Just give me a minute. I’ll save this work and close the laptop.”

She kept the laptop on the study table and went to the washroom. When she came out, she found Adi standing near the table holding the picture frame in his hand. She went to him and hugged him from behind, putting her chin on his head, “What is it Adi? Is something troubling you?”

“No mumma. I was just wondering….”

“Wondering what?”

“That Tanu looks so much like Milli maasi. See.” Saying he thrust the frame in front of her.

“I know Adi. I noticed that the first time I saw her.” She had always avoided this…this journeying back into the forbidden zone….where happy memories lay untouched, unremembered, unmourned. She didn’t want those memories to cloud her vision and lose her focus. But try as she might, she couldn’t escape the clutches of even the happy past. Tanu was a stark reminder of her baby sister and that’s why she was so drawn to her. She was fourteen when Mili was born. Her parents hated to term her conception as an accident and would take offence if their friends alluded to Mili as thus.

“Tell me about her mumma. About Mili maasi.”

“But I have told you about her earlier also, sweetheart.”

“Again mumma…One more time. Please.”

She picked him up and adjusted him on her lap on the bed. “You are right. She was like Tanu in many ways…like a little doll…my little doll. She was quiet but a very happy child. She would be waiting for me when I’d come back from school. She would run to me and wouldn’t leave me till your nanima took her away forcefully so that I could take a bath and change. When I held her, when I sniffed her baby smell, when I rubbed my nose against her and heard her giggle, I would forget all the problems I may have faced that day. I never had any friends those days. I didn’t need any. She and I were inseparable.”

“Just like you and I are mumma.”

“Absolutely. In many ways I was her mumma. I also learnt many things from her.”

“Like what mumma?”

“Hmm….like even when people think you were not supposed to be born, you change their opinion by being happy and spreading happiness. She was like this ray of sunshine God sent just for us. Mili could always bring a smile on everyone’s face.”

“Just like Tanu does.”

“Yes. You really like her, don’t you Adi?”

“Yes mumma. If I had a papa, I would have asked you for a little sister just like her. She is so cute.”

Naina closed her eyes as a stab of pain pierced her heart. Adi was silent for awhile. Just when she thought he had drifted off to sleep, he sprang up, “Mumma, I have an idea. If you marry Raj uncle, he will become my papa, and Tanu will become my baby sister…just like Milli maasi was to you.”

“ADI...Hush!!!”

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To be continued……………………

Whispers of Spring.....Chapter 7

Chapter 7

The rain poured incessantly. The thunderstorm had broken as soon as they had finished dinner. Beeji had refused to allow Raj to leave before partaking of the meal. Now she and Adi were in the kitchen arranging for candles and lantern, as the lights had flickered once already. Raj finished his call and sat down next to Naina on the sofa. She was holding Tanu in her arms who was clinging tightly to her, scared to death with all the noise. Outside, the storm rolled through the mountains with rumblings of thunder and flashes of lightning. There was a zigzag flash of lightning followed by a deafeningly loud burst of thunder, drawing a whimper and sob from Tanu.

Raj reached out and put a hand on Tanu’s back, “Tanu, there’s nothing to be scared of, sweetheart. It’s just a storm. It will be over after sometime. Come on, let’s go. It’s late, and you begin school tomorrow.”

Following another loud crack of thunder that seemed to rise from the very bowels of the earth, Tanu tried to plaster herself more into Naina if that was possible, closing her eyes tightly and whispering, “I won’t go. Aunty, tell papa, I’ll stay with you. I won’t go. I won’t. If I go outside, the rain monster will take me and Furry.”

Naina felt her nape getting moist with Tanu’s quiet sobs and asked gently, “There’s no monster sweetie. Who told you that?”

Tanu mumbled, “Beena dai. She said when the monsters come with rain, they are so hungry that they make loud noises and look for small children to take away.”

“What nonsense?” Raj was furious, “I had no idea they had filled her little mind with such superstitious bullshit.” He looked at Naina helplessly and tried again, “Tanu, Beena dai was lying. It’s just the clouds that are making noises. I won’t let anything happen to you. Come here.”

In response, Tanu turned her head in Naina’s chest and held out her hand to her father. As soon as he took it, she pulled it between herself and Naina, “No. You also stay.” With Raj’s hand held against her heart, Naina stilled and looked at him like a rabbit caught in headlights. He didn’t move a muscle. His eyes glittered with some emotion she could not fathom. For what seemed like eons, they simply stared at each other. Raj could feel her heartbeats through the fabric of her kurta. Then, with clinched jaw he slowly pulled his hand away.

Naina rose with Tanu and walked to the window. That’s when the power went off. Raj started toward the kitchen, just as beeji entered the room with a lantern along with Adi who carried a packet of candles and matchbox.

Adi kept the candles and rushed to Naina. “What happened mumma? Is Tanu scared?”

“Adi bhaiya!” Came the low voice from Naina’s bosom, “Aren’t you scared?”

“Oh no, Tanu! There’s nothing to be scared about. The noise is only because God Indra is fighting with the bad demon who stole the water.”

Tanu lifted her head from the safety of Naina’s neck and looked down at Adi, visibly intrigued now, “What?”

“Mumma tell her the story,” Adi implored.

Naina settled on the window sill with Tanu and Adi sat opposite, holding Tanu’s hands, as his mother narrated softly, “Indra is the God of thunder and storms and is the strongest and the greatest warrior. Once a very bad demon stole all the water from the earth. Everywhere there was turmoil. No one could do anything, as people, animals, flowers, and trees started dying. When Indra came to know about the evil demon’s deed, he pledged to take back the water from the demon. He came riding on his chariot of clouds in the sky and challenged the demon. Indra’s anger caused the thunder and he brought out his weapon to kill the demon. Both of them clashed, and after a huge battle, Indra finally killed the demon. The water was released again in the form of the rains.” She turned Tanu’s face toward the window as lightening flashed outside, “Did you see that Tanu? That’s Indra’s weapon. It’s called vajra. With that he struck down the demon. And that booming noise thereafter is of the demon falling down. So you see, there is nothing to fear. God is out there taking care of us.”

“Really Aunty?” Tanu had sat up. She shifted down from Naina’s lap and looked out. The moment she saw another lightning, she pressed her face against the glass, “Another one. That means God has hit the demon again. Right Adi bhaiya?” She turned her face toward Adi who was kneeling next to her now, his hand thrown across her shoulder. “Yes…look there’s another one.”

Leaving the children, Naina went and sat next to beeji.

Raj spoke with a smile, “That was awesome Naina. You really have a way with kids.”

“Children’s innocence is also their biggest strength, Raj. It helps them adapt fast and accept the positivity presented to them. Tanu lost her fear the moment she knew that the rain monster was being beaten by someone superior. Her fear turned into hope.”

Raj looked at his hands, “It’s partly my fault. When Tanu needed me the most, I was in the hospital. She grew up among the Devisar palace maids. Because Rajasthan doesn’t get much rains, there are many superstitions attached to storms and rains. Those women passed on their beliefs to Tanu.” He looked up with a sad smile, “Her being a girl didn’t help matter. Most of the time she was left to her own devices. That’s why she was so withdrawn and shy when you saw her first. But thanks to you all and everyone at the Rawin Mahal, she is finally opening up.”

“You don’t have to worry about her at all Raj,” beeji leaned across and patted his hand, “Now she is where she belongs. She is home, and so are you.”

********************************

Raj got up. “It’s been a long day. We should go beeji. It’s past Tanu’s bed time.”

“And who says I am letting you drive in this storm?” beeji stood up too. “You and Tanu are not going anywhere.”

“Beeji, please. I’ve driven in worse weather and rougher regions. We’ll be fine.”

“Raj, no arguments. There’s no way I am going to let you leave this house in this weather, especially when even the street lights are out. Absolutely not. You are staying the night.” She turned to Naina, “The kids will sleep with me. Raj can sleep in Adi’s room.”

In the end Raj had to agree. Beeji gave him her brother’s track pants and T shirt to change into. He visited her occasionally and had a few clothes lying about. Naina settled the kids in beeji’s room and went to Adi’s room with a jug of water. Beeji was there chatting with Raj. She wished both a goodnight and came out. Beeji halted her just outside her door.

“Naina!”

“Yes, beeji.”

“Will you be OK tonight?”

“I’ll be fine beeji.” She came back and laid her head on beeji’s shoulder, “You are a darling to worry so much. But you don’t need to. I haven’t had them in years now. Even then, it’s a relief that the kids are with you.”

Beeji hugged her tight and left her as Naina looked at her back, whispering to herself, “I am sorry for lying beeji. I won’t have you worried over me.”

Raj leaned against the doorjamb, having heard the coded conversation, and watched Naina go into her room across the corridor. He couldn’t help wondering what that was all about. He turned from the door of Adi’s room and looked around. It was a lovely room. Adi was a neat boy. His books, toys, and other things were all well kept. The walls adorned pictures of him and Naina, and some with beeji. There was not a single picture of his father, the mysterious Mr Bhatia!

********************************

Broken souls never reveal how they feel…..they're full of pains and hurts "still" real. Parts of a poem she had read recently came back to her as Naina walked slowly toward her window and stared out blankly into the dark night. The storms always awoke memories that she could never wash off. She had learnt to wall those memories in so securely that only she was privy to them now, and she had every intention of keeping it that way. No one…not even beeji had any idea of the cravings she still had to have a bath in the dead of the night daily…sometimes twice…sometimes thrice. She wanted to forget, but the chains of the past were bound too tightly around her to do that. They resurfaced now and then. Like today, when that man in the market….She had somehow averted showing him her face again. It had taken all her self-control to shove that fear back and carry on with the day. Her tears, her fears, her worries were her own. The tears that she shed in the privacy of her room were never allowed to trouble her little family. She was all alone in this…always and forever.

Naina rubbed her eyes and admonished herself for indulging in self-pity. She was gifted with a natural calm and was certainly not morbid; but somehow tonight the dark sky, the pools of dark shadows all around, and the dark uncertainty of the future had her in her clutches. Would that man believe Raj and let the matter drop? Or would he dig? And if he does? Oh God, Adi…She cannot let them get hold of Adi. She sat down on the bed with a thump. She had to think…plan. But first, she had to get this dirt off her. Within seconds she was under the shower. By the time she came out of the washroom, she had the outlines of a contingency plan. She changed into a nightie and slipped under the covers after blowing off the candle.

She had thought she would find it difficult to sleep after the first big scare in seven years, but the moment she closed her weary eyes, she was asleep…her tired body finally taking over. Not much time passed before the nightmare began…It was always the same…his laughter, the old lady’s smirks and taunts, the ugly old man’s lustful, lecherous look and alcohol-ridden breathing, and that touch…that’s when the screaming always began.

Raj sprang up in the bed after the first scream, and all his inborn instincts came alive. Naina! That was Naina. He tried to rush but fell down before the second step. Cursing loudly he reached for the prosthetic when he heard her scream again. He let go off the limb and reached for the stick. Getting up he reached for the candle stand and hobbled across to her room. He found her thrashing in her bed and mumbling, “Leave me…(sob, sob) Let me go…please…don’t touch. I beg you. Let me go.”

“Naina!!!” Raj shook her lightly. “Wake up…wake up.”

Suddenly she shot up. Her eyes opened, and he stared at a pair of unfocussed, terror-stricken eyes. She clutched his shirt, “They will take Adi. I have to hide him.” He called out a few more times, but she was in a daze. He sat on the bed and spoke her name softly over and over again. But she continued to give him a blank stare and then shrunk back toward the headboard. He tried again and again, “Naina, it’s me. Raj. I won’t hurt you. Open your eyes.”

Finally, her eyes lost the empty look as she appeared to recognize him. Next moment she had flown across the bed and thrown herself into his arms, hugging him with her life and crying relentlessly. He held her tightly till her sobs ebbed, all the time speaking to her softly, calming her, stroking her hair. He reached out for the glass of water kept on the bedside table and made her drink it. He adjusted himself on the bed beside her, all the time holding her. She relaxed before mumbling once, “Don’t leave me.” He promised he won’t and rocked her till she fell asleep again. Even then he didn’t let go and tightened his hold. Everything had changed in twenty-four hours. Somehow Naina had become very important to him. He refused to analyze the reason…not yet. He rested her head on his shoulder and caressed her arm till his eyes closed. Before sleep came, his last thought was, “I won’t let you step on another minefield Naina. Whoever is responsible for shattering you this badly will pay, I promise.”

********************************

For seven years she had suffered these nightmares. This was the main reason she had weaned off Adi to a separate bedroom at an early age. For the last three years or so she had been lying to beeji about not having them anymore. They came on their own free will…with or without any trigger. She was used to waking up in the night crying, sweating, and shaking and then taking hours to calm herself back to sleep. But last night was unlike any other. Naina woke up feeling warm and more refreshed than she had ever been. She remembered the hellish nightmare, and she also remembered the beautiful dream that followed soon after wherein she had found paradisical bliss and security, comfort, and peace in a man’s arms for the first time…in Raj’s arms. She still felt the strength of his arms holding her and recalled feeling protected. She didn’t remember sleeping so fitfully after a nightmare as she did the previous night. She closed her eyes and flopped back into the pillows. What a strange dream! She had never let any man touch her in all these years, but Raj was different. He was a genuine person, and she trusted him. Maybe that’s why subconsciously she sought his help in her dream. Yes…that had to be it. After all he couldn’t have been here, could he? Naina looked around just to make sure, but couldn’t notice anything out of place. She slapped her forehead and smiled at the foolish notion, before getting down from the bed.

She was arranging the teacups in the kitchen when Raj walked in tentatively. He had changed into his own clothes. He seemed to have taken a shower as his hair was still wet, from which few droplets dangled…just like Adi. Her son always needed a last-minute rub by her.

Naina grinned and passed him a hand towel. He raised his brow, and she pointed to his hair. He took it and rubbed, wishing her Good morning.

“A very good morning to you too, Raj. Did you sleep well?” She smiled and passed him a cup of tea.

Raj responded perfunctorily and stared at her as she went about her task of pouring tea in two more cups and arranging biscuits.

“What about you Naina? Slept well?”

“Like a baby,” she smiled. “It’s great to wake up to a clear sky. Isn’t it?”

He nodded with a slight frown. Naina greeted beeji heartily when she walked in. “How’s the garden beeji? Hope there wasn’t much damage.”

“No, Naina. Everything is under control. Thankfully it wasn’t much windy last night. With the sun out, the extra rainwater will be taken care of.” Beeji returned Raj’s good morning hug and sat down, chattering with Naina who looked her normal chirpy self. By this time Raj was sure that she didn’t have any recollection of the events of the previous night. He kept glancing at her as he fiddled with his phone and responding to beeji’s queries, but she showed no signs of any trauma.

Beeji went to wake up the kids as Raj wanted to get back home early to get Tanu ready for school. He sat down in the living room with the newspaper.

“Raj!”

He lowered the paper and looked up to find beeji beckoning him to her room. He saw the kids were still asleep, and looked at her in askance.

She whispered, “I’ll wake them up in a few minutes. But first tell me, did you hear anything last night?”

“Hear anything? Like what?” Raj feigned a surprised look.

“I mean did you hear Naina crying or screaming?” Seeing the look in Raj’s eyes she tried to explain, “Oho…don’t worry Raj. I am asking because sometimes Naina gets nightmares whenever there is a storm. Something happened many years back that troubles her now and then. Since you were upstairs too, I am asking you. Normally I check on her, but I couldn’t leave the kids last night…..and so that’s why I…,” she broke off, “What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that, Raj?”

He put a hand on her shoulder, “Beeji, we need to talk.”

Before she could respond to his grave expression, Tanu woke up and called out to Raj.

“What’s it Raj?”

“I’ll call you later beeji.”

*********************************

The school kept Naina busy for the next few days. New admissions were still on, and new students needed to be helped with adjustment. She found Tanu standing quietly near the door of her office on more than one occasion before she would notice her. Once she did, Tanu would smile hugely and run across to her. By Friday she had made a couple of friends and reduced her trips to Naina’s office. Naina hadn’t met Raj since Monday morning as he was busy making trips to other towns throughout the week and familiarizing himself with the business. She had gone to Rawin Mahal on Tuesday morning, had prayed in the temple there, and then had gone to Raj’s suite to keep the holy flower she had got from Chamunda Devi temple under Tanu’s pillow. She had told the maid to let the flower be for forty days as per panditji’s instructions. Raj wasn’t there, having left for Chamba early in the morning. She had taken Tanu with her to school.

On Friday, after school, she wrapped up her work quickly as she had promised Adi she would take him to the movies. Beeji was spending the night with a friend who was sick and all alone. She was about to lift the receiver of the intercom for a final instruction to Nancy when there was a knock and Raj walked in.

He smiled at her, and it struck her that a different current of emotion swept into the room than what was when he was here last…warm and exciting at the same time.

She kept the receiver down, “Hello stranger!”

He halted in the middle of the room, “Does that mean you missed me Naina?”

“Oh…puhleez. Stop giving yourself so much importance. That was just an observation.” A smile touched her lips and her eyes twinkled.

“You are bad for a man’s ego, Naina.” He made a sulky face.

Her laughter resonated in the room, “Oh God Colonel…Do you try that gimmick when you want to draw attention…especially the female ones?”

“My dear Naina…for that, I don’t need any gimmicks. Just a look is enough.” Naina could believe that…and somehow the thought bothered her.

She grinned and gestured him to sit down, “Right. Now tell me what can I do for you?”

“I came to invite you, beeji, and Adi for dinner tomorrow. Nanisa will be home before lunch. She wanted to meet beeji urgently. I’ll give a call to beeji later.”

“Thank you Raj. I am looking forward to meeting Ranima again and hearing her stories about her Europe visit. Don't bother....I’ll tell beeji. She is with a friend tonight.”

Just then her phone rang. It was Adi, “Mumma when are you picking me up?”

“I am on my way Adi. Is Bobby also coming?”

“Yes mumma. OK. Bye. See you.”

Naina kept the phone down and looked up to find Raj staring at her, “How is Adi?”

“He is fine. I am taking him for a movie.” She paused for a second and asked, “Will you and Tanu like to come? It’s the latest part of Ice Age.”

“Tanu would like that. Are you sure it won’t be a bother?”

“Of course not….Adi will be thrilled at this surprise. Let’s go.”

She stopped to hand over a few files to Nancy who had just entered the office. She had reached the door when the phone rang. Nancy waved her ahead. However, she waited as Raj went ahead to get Tanu. Nancy kept the phone after a hurried conversation.

“Who was that Nancy?”

“Weird. Some reporter of a magazine. He wanted to know your name and then said he wanted an interview with you. I told him you weren’t here. What shall I say if he calls again?”

Nancy waited as Naina spaced out for a few seconds, “Ma’am!!”

“Huh..oho…tell him I don’t have time for interviews. If he wants to know about the school, he should meet you.”

She looked up to find Raj staring at her with concern.

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To be continued……….